Reflections of ... FAMILY!

            "Where did the time go? My babies are 31 today!"

Reflections Of… family!

                                                                             by Alan P. Scaglione

Happy Birthday to the two people who changed my life forever!

31 years ago—at 2:37pm and 2:38 pm, on a Wednesday afternoon—my life changed forever!
I became somebody’s father!
And that’s all the direction I needed—I was suddenly somebody!
I was Amanda Blaire and Ashley Brooke’s Papa!
And my life began that day—nothing that had happened previously, and there had been a lot—none of that mattered.
All that mattered that day was—these little girls needed me! And I would not let them down!
My first—by a minute—and she never lets her sister ever forget it—looked like a true Scag.
Amanda had our nose and our forehead.
Her sister—forever the younger sister—looked like her mom—except…
Ashley had our knees—sorry kid—of all the things to get— you lock your knees just like your Papa!
And there they were—and I was smitten!
I actually named them—their mom was sedated—emergency C-section—and, when she came out of sedation…
I said “Amanda and Ashley are so beautiful!” she said, “Who are Amanda and Ashley?”
Hmmm? They just looked like Amanda and Ashley to me!
Don’t worry…their mom got me back when our son was born…
I wanted to name him Brandon…I didn’t win that one.  But I did get his middle name Jameson…which he passed on to his son Jett.
My girls were forever different—one brunette and olive skinned, and one blonde and fair skinned.
I remember the blonde tell the brunette “You are Italian, but I am not. You have olive skin, I don’t. so… you are the Italian!”
I laughed so hard.
I remember thinking “I will sacrifice everything just to make sure their life is better than mine—I will be the father I always wanted!”
And I was. I was attentive, supportive, verbally approving and encouraging. Involved. Present in the moment. Always giving all I had.
I used to say “I am the father I always wanted—just hope it’s the father you need!”

I guess only they get to decide that one, huh?
See…my father, rest in peace…not much of an encourager—not much of a supporter of my dreams… not much of a supporter of anything mine.
I loved him toward the end…but, spent a lot of years when I did not.
Just wanted somebody to believe in me—to encourage me to be somebody—to expect something out of me—to want me to be my best!
So… that’s what I gave to my children.
I was the head cheerleader’s biggest fan out on the court—my Amanda was the best cheerleader SCA ever had! And their valedictorian!
I was the singer’s biggest fan—my Ashley sang so many places… and I was there, cheering her on.    
Whatever their dream was—I was going to do my best to promote it and make it happen.
That was my job as a father—to see their dreams come true… even if that meant mine took a back seat—only what they needed mattered!
And to be verbally encouraging—never a day they didn’t hear “I love you!”… I never heard that from my father, ever.
I nicknamed one “Beautiful” and the other “Gorgeous”… wanted them to feel individually “special!” being twins was not their fault.
Didn’t find out til their 16^th birthday Prom that I threw them—yes, I threw them a full out, formals and tux, ballroom and dancing—PROM!
Anyway… the “beautiful” one always felt that the “gorgeous” one was prettier and that their father thought so too…
Because “Everyone” knew that gorgeous was so much prettier than beautiful!
My father said I looked like a girl every time I got a hair cut—every time! And he told me he didn’t expect anything out of me…
And they complained about beautiful vs. gorgeous?
I raised them to love the Lord, to live for Christ, to serve others… to cherish the Word of God!
The bible says “Train up a child in the way she should go, and when she is old, she will not depart!” Proverbs 22:6
I did my best in that department… and I rest in that knowledge.
And now…they turn 31 today.
I miss being a hands-on, hovering father who just wanted their lives to be better than his—and to have a father who said “I love you!”
At some point… the jury is out…and it’s their turn to grade the job you did…
Still waiting for my “well done!”
But… I know…I did the best I could…in some difficult circumstances…
I was present-- they could always depend on my love and encouragement.
And now…it’s their turn… be the parent you always wanted… give yours your all!
Ily, p

 

Brother “A”

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