Reflections of... Family!

                            "Now that's the look... Of Real Love!"

                 REflections Of… Family!

                                                   by Alan P. Scaglione

See that couple? That’s my godson Shane Alan and his girl Jessica Renee.

They’re in L-O-V-E… and they’re getting married!
Yep—April 13^th this year—those two are tying the knot!
And I am honored and humbled to say… they’ve asked me to do the tying! I am so excited!
These two? They are so in love!
Not the “silly, stupid, I’ve never been in love” kinda love; nah, this is more “I can’t believe I finally found the right one” kinda love!
You see… there’s no puppy in their love!
They have been taught life’s lessons—you know, the hard one!
And they both have learned the hard way—love don’t come easy—and you have to appreciate and cherish it IF it does comes your way!
They have been spending their lives raising their daughters: Jess has Suzette and Gabby; Shane has Amber and Aleia!
Four beautiful girls—all of them happy, intelligent, funny, well rounded preteens who are driving their parents crazy!!!
And that’s the way it should be—Shane is about to be the father of 4 teenage GIRLS!
He said none of them get to date until they are 35—we all laugh—he’s dead serious!
Little does he know—his days of sleeping through the night on weekends are over!
I can just see him now—shotgun in hand, standing in the door, at the stroke of Midnight!!! “WHERE’S MY DAUGHTER!!!”
Oh… this is gonna be fun!
But I know… deep in my heart… these two…they are up for the challenge—I just got a good sense of where they are—as a couple, as a family!
And planning this wedding is a “family affair!”
I think the girls are almost as excited as the Bride—ALMOST, but not quite!
That smile on Jessica’s face is genuine—she is so excited to become Mrs. Shane!
We had our first wedding planning/counseling session today.
Shane and I had talked earlier in the week, and he invited me to do some pre-marital counseling.
So… I shared with them a book that I live by: Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages.
We went over the 5 choices to the Question “I feel loved when I receive…”
The choices are: Gifts, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch and Quality Time.
I explained that your spouse needs to know what it is you need to feel loved—that’s the important thing—what is it you need?
We then talked about “Fair Fighting” – I shared that there must be pre-set ground rules that are respected and followed.
I told them that Communication is the KEY to opening the door that leads to Resolution!

I even mentioned about knowing each other’s landmines—the things you should not say because you know the pain it will cause.

Then I went over NOT going for the proverbial Jugular—even if it’s in sight!! DO NOT be mean, do NOT be deliberately spiteful, do NOT inflict pain!
I explained that they need to always “RESPECT” one another; Defend in Public, Question in Private! Never fight in front of the Girls! Don’t draw them into it!
Finally, I told them that… THEY are the only ones who can protect their marriage from outsiders, from those who won’t be supportive, from ill-doers!
But as long as they GROW together, like “The RubberBand Man” (anybody remember that song?) then they will someday be celebrating 50 years happily married!
I then told them that they can’t stop negative and bad things from coming to them—that’s just life and people; but, they can decide what to do when it gets there!
I shared the scripture Philippeans 4:8 “Whatever things are Pure, True, Beautiful, Honorable, Just, Commendable… THINK ON THESE THINGS!”
I counseled them to decide together to always have a positive attitude and train their mind to see the good, the pure, the beautiful in their life and their family!
As we ended the session—I could see it in their eyes—it registered with them—they got it! And… they were going to do something with it!
And I asked my wife “You think all married couples could use a periodic Wellness Check—just to make sure—it’s all good!”
Maybe that’s what your marriage can use today—just to use the KEY to unlock the Door to Resolve the Issue…
I challenge you—COMMUNICATE your Love Language to your Spouse—they honestly may NOT know!
And if you want them to love you the way you need—they need to know how!

Sharing my Reflections--

Brother “A”

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